In this New Age of Aquarius more and more people are opening up to their intuitive side and I sense that we have lost a large part of what grounding actually is. I read numerous blogs and articles with tips for empaths to use after a stressful day of feeling other people’s emotions. I read and encounter several people that are higher than a kite from meditation, yoga, and a raw diet that think they’re grounded because they feel “connected”. I hear from several people that are more uncertain about their journey and path they are on now that they’ve added in spiritual practices.
Let me spend a moment to clarify a couple of things before we get into some tools for you that you should be utilizing in your daily routine.
How many different ways have you heard “you’re a spiritual being in a physical body” or “you’re a spiritual being having a human experience”? I know I’ve heard it enough times to make me sick. Yes, okay we are gorgeous spiritual beings that just so happen to also reside in a psychical body. In yogic studies you’ll find we have 10 bodies and that the physical is only one of those ten. So you technically could actually then say “I am a negative mind having a auric field experience”. Generally this is what all empathics go through when they are overwhelmed by other people’s emotions. It isn’t that often that we are overwhelmed by the love someone else is experiencing, that emotion is our own jealousy and desire to have our own love experience. I don’t know anyone that has the desire to feel someone else’s extreme heartbreak, but that is how we behave. Why? There are two reasons for this. The first that I will address is that we feel this from others because we are not acting responsibly with our own emotions in our environment. The second that I’ll get to in a moment is compassion and why we go about it all wrong.
Getting in touch with our intuitive side is very confusing for people. We actively hide our true happiness because we have this need to hold onto it forever in its perfect state. No one can do this since happiness is just an emotion and can only exist in the moment, everything else is a recreation. Don Miguel Ruiz talks about this in his book Mastery of Love. When talking about marriage and the exchange of rings we put subconsciously put our happiness in the hands of the other. This then creates doom in the relationship since another human or spiritual being cannot be the sole reason for your happiness. In our daily lives we begin to hid this happiness or even our true desire for it because we know that there isn’t another being that can or will or should be responsible for it. This I hope we all at least intellectually understand and is also where I stop talking about love and marriage and get back to empathy, grounding and tools because that is an entire seminar or book worth of information.
By now you’ve probably attended your first series of yoga and meditation classes and feel a profound upliftment and joy. Your yoga teacher has probably also told you that being on the yoga mat is grounding and you should get into your body. It isn’t, actually. Yes, we are breathing into our body and releasing stress as we exhale (important). Yes, we feel more connected to our body through the experience of more oxygen, flexibility, and body awareness. But really the only body awareness you’re really getting into is by noticing a stretch here, there, and a pain possible here and there that you need to be careful of, but being aware of how this pain is associated with a stored emotion from childhood or from the office just 15 minutes ago is lost. How is it that we think we can comprehend compassion or understanding of what someone else is going through when we spend so much time avoiding our own emotions and feelings, or is it simply that which we are feeling compassion for? Honestly, how many times have you been compassionate for someone feeling joy? Did you know you are supposed to? You probably haven’t even begun to think that someone feeling joy and love also needs compassion and a sensitive ear just as much as someone going through a heartbreak or passing of a loved one?
We live in a vulnerable world and seek out connection. It is our greatest fear and unknowingly our greatest desire that keeps us seeking for validation in those moments. Our flaw is that we think this connection and caring only comes with pain and sorrow. In the moment we risk it all to say “I need you” “I love you” “I feel like a failure” “I failed”. We do not look back at our greatest moments in love and see empathy. The truth is we are very selfish in those moments because we cannot believe we are feeling it and we wonder how we can hold onto it forever. Reality check — just like love, with pain we are to dive deep into the experience and release.
Let me explain that one a little further because I think I just went over your head and that’s okay because this is where we get into the misunderstanding of compassion. I personally don’t like to feel pain, do you? When my heart is broken all I can think of is holding onto the love that is no longer there and getting rid of the emotional pain I am in. Sound familiar to anyone? The reality is when we do this we are actually expelling our hurt, pain, and trauma out from our physical body, through our auric field, and trash it into the cosmos for others to absorb. Thank you for depositing your emotional garbage out in the open for the rest of us to clean up. By-the-way, I am just as guilty as you in doing this. I want unhappy feeling to get out of my physical body and emotional state as quickly as possible too. I have never heard of any empaths sitting around having coffee or tea talking about how revitalized they feel from feeling so much joy in others, have you? So why are we these sick and demented beings that are only seeking to feel the pain in others? On a subconscious level are we masochistic looking to feel like crap or egotists looking to validate pain in others? It’s how we behave.
Let’s for the time being forget the universal law which states that compassion is a result of feeling someone else’s suffering and pain. It is true that we learn a great amount of patience for the human emotion when we sit with someone while they are crying, experiencing trauma, PTSD, depression, and pain. But we tire and run quickly away from the friend who is newly in love. Did you know that compassion really is just holding the space and mirror of love for the other person? It is a state of action.
The reason we get overwhelmed by feeling another person’s emotion is because we do not know how to deal with the same emotion when it is ours.
Kinda makes you feel like a child who didn’t get any social skills doesn’t it. I am not here to make you feel bad about not knowing or understanding this because quite frankly very few of those that do understand this don’t put it into practice. Which brings me to my next point. Knowing and action are two different avenues for creation. Knowing how to do something and never doing it — well we know how that turns out. Putting that knowledge into action has a completely different result as we also know.
Each of us has the same capacity for love and pain. When we are empathizing and feeling someone else’s pain we should really be asking where their love is. Why? Because this is where we are then able to help transform their pain through their own self-love. We are all aware that we cannot love away someone else’s pain, but we can certainly guide them back to theirs through a gentle process. The emotion of love is just as strong, powerful, transforming, and gentle as pain. It is the equal and opposite. You’ve laughed your way into crying and cried your way into laughing, so why not comprehend that we can love ourselves into pain and pain ourselves into love. Happens all the time and most of are ashamed to admit it. Your heart gets ripped out and through that process you gain a greater capacity for love, and by being able to love deeper we open ourselves up for a greater pain. “What’s worse than the total agony of being in love”? said by the kid in Love Actually. We don’t’ know how to feel good or want to feel good without going through some pain, this is a simple Buddhist teaching. Sounds a bit ridiculous doesn’t it? But we use pain as a gauge for knowing how much possibility there is for happiness. Problem is we get stuck in the pain and forget transform it.
Through my empathic abilities I feel your pain even though I don’t want to. As a compassionate being I get to hold a space for you to get back to your self love. As a human wormhole it is my honor to transport all the emotional trash we leave in the etheric plane and deliver it back completely transformed and healed for ALL to enjoy and tap into. Grounding helps me be of any use to you and myself.
Now…tips and tools for YOU to get grounded
Grounding simply put is earth not heavens. Grounding is bringing our spiritual awareness into our physical body and surroundings.
Bathing is a big one out there on the internet and while bathing is relaxing it is more like being the Pisces fish which isn’t early or grounded. What we should be doing is:
- When connecting spiritually (yoga and meditation) consciously bring your auric field back into a usable size. There are consequences for walking around with a wide open auric field. In meditation and yoga we are working to raise our Kundalini energy from the root to the crown. Grounding is the process of the opposite. Note to yoga teachers: please guide your students in a closing visualization to do this.
- Auric field protection. There are many ways to do this, I use several different visualizations, mantras, and Reiki. Find the combination that works for you.
- Bring your awareness back to your breath, this will help you feel your physical body.
- Get dirty. Put your hands in the earth. Walk barefoot on grass.
For me to ground I need to be very physically active in my lifestyle. I am not a fan of gym style workout because the exercise routine is done there and then I leave and are un-grounded again. I also need to be wearing make-up and heels. This brings my constant awareness back into my posture, how my shoe is connecting with the earth. As a child learning to walk I need something to focus on, to bring my awareness to the physical body, and heels were what gave me that in-body experience.
On your personal journey to discovering more grounding techniques right for you ask yourself this: “is this action giving me an in-body experience”? The next time you’re overwhelmed by feeling another person’s emotion, take a moment to ground yourself, and ask your spirit guides to show you where their love is — it will transform both of you.