I’ll give you a hint, it’s not a swear word but it should be. This four letter word has so many different meanings that it literally means something different to each person we meet. It has different contexts when used at work, in friendships, family, dating and long term relationships. This also goes along with what I said in What Really Ends Any Relationship about communication.
Let me introduce this word by first asking you how many times a day on average you say the word — soon? Oh no take your time. I can wait while you think about it. Don’t take too long though, I’ve got to continue writing this blog again soon.
How many of you thought that I actually stepped away from the computer to give you time to think about your answer? How many of you felt pressured to figure it out quickly because I said soon?
What I understand and mean by soon can change within the structure of a sentence, outing, getting a job done, etc…
Unless each time we question what someone says when they say soon, we should consider ourselves lost and setting ourselves up for a resentment.
Here’s another example in a work environment with two coworkers. “Hey Jim, the staff meeting is starting soon”. Jim might automatically think he had just enough time (5-10 minutes) to grab a cup of coffee, go to the bathroom and get to the meeting. While his coworker meant it’s starting in the next 5 minutes. Jim would then be late and his co-worker is off the hook because he reminded him making only Jim look like a slacker when his co-worker could have taken the responsibility to express an actual time.
Relationship example, woman to long term boyfriend or husband. “Honey when are you planning on _________?” It really doesn’t matter because if he says soon, the translation is “it’s not in my radar today or my priority list in the next few weeks.”
How about early dating? And this is where both parties that hear it should probably forget about seeing the person again. “That was a lot of fun. We should do that again soon”.
We have gotten so conditioned into thinking that soon is an actual time.
How many of you (answer honestly) stop and ask people what they mean by soon? Being a psychic I can read what that means to any given person, but I decided to change my approach to “yeah, I don’t know that that means to you, so when?” This creates a space for others to reveal themselves and intentions, please feel free to use that phrase! Operating in a social media life we get to be vague and often forget that by behaving that way in person is the biggest way to tell someone to basically fuck-off.
So drop it! Stop saying it! Stop saying ‘soon’ to friends, family, co-workers, significant others, and especially have the balls to drop it in early dating. When we say soon, we are really saying “you’re not a priority” and “I haven’t invested the time to care”. Take a moment to commit to a time. Take responsibility with yourself to the people in your life. Telling a friend “let’s grab coffee or hang out soon”. Well we’ve all heard that one and I’d love to know, how many of you got together with that friend within two weeks? You didn’t did you?
So I’ll repeat myself… Stop saying soon. Drop it. Stop swearing that four letter word and own your own time! Honor yourself by giving others an actual time letting them know where they fit within your priority list. It feels great when other people are giving that back. 🙂