permission to focus on the painful parts

So often we forget that we are meant to focus on the painful parts of growth.  Getting older we think that we’re supposed to have it all under control by now.  That baggage is a nasty word.  That our past is somehow negative marks on some universal score board.

The simple fact is this:  our challenges are unique to each of us.  There is no universal set of luggage that comes with getting married or divorced.  There isn’t a users manual for grieving.  Yes, we have many tools to help us through our process, but how that looks, feels and the outcome are all unique to each of us.

So if you haven’t done this already – PLEASE give yourself permission to focus on the painful parts.  This is honoring our walk on this earth.

This may not feel like self-love, but it is.  This may at times not feel like progress, but it is.  This may feel counter intuitive to the social norm, but it’s better.

Give Yourself Permission – to also feel joy and happiness in your pain.  No, this isn’t negative.  What I mean is that the emotions of extreme pain have the same chemical response as extreme happiness.  Ever laugh yourself into crying and cry yourself into laughing?  Yeah, allow yourself when your extremely happy to sing along with the sad break up songs without guilt (I do!).  But also remember that it is okay to feel happy, relief, and joy during times of healing.

Give Yourself to feel messy about growth and healing.  This will help in all our relationships because we will have a deeper understanding of what we are actually feeling… those awkward moments, anxiety, suspense… yeah, allowing yourself to feel messy will ground you.